Pete 'Montana' Goulding
Earlier this week, I had the opportunity to catch up with one of Melee's all-time greats, Pete Goulding. If you are unaware of the legend that is Pete, he has been topscorer in every full season that he has played for melee, except one. Being one of the first players to be signed by the Harpenden-based club back in 2001, his 6 years of commitment thus far have been filled with goals and medals.
Hows life out in Montana? Life is going pretty quick over here, tons of stuff to do to get ready for the school that im staffing. I have still managed to find time to play hours of Tiger Woods 07.
How much football are you playing? Ive played one game of footie, its extremely annoying having to call it soccer. We played with these tiny goals (a bit like chair footie), there was a guy from Jamaica who had some talent and one from Germany but the rest were not amazing.
Do people know what football is over there?They think you throw a pointy rugby ball at people and wear tons of padding
What are the women like?Not a huge amount of talent, there are a few lookers but not really ones I would go after. there arent any students here yet though, they all start september 17th so there will probably be an extra 50 ladies on base.
What is your typical Saturday like? All the days blend in to one at the moment. There is a new brewery about a mile away (which is like have one at the end of your drive in the UK), so ive been sampling their stuff, not that great, give me a 1664 or stella any day.
Where do you see yourself in 2 years time? Two years time is a tough one, two main options: Either travelling to different bible schools across the globe doing teaching and stuff or being back in England making cash which I would need to do the first one. I might try and combine the two. It depends if Melee are still up and running.
When will you be back in a melee shirt?Ill wear my shirt tomorrow. Ive been watching the results come in, class work boys, its making me slightly jealous but not quite enough to come back.
29th August Melee vs Welwyn Wanderers
It was a perfect night for football over in WGC. Melee took the field with an air of confidence, nay superiority, with a line up of the Couper brothers, Samuel, Ports and Jus , everyone was raring to go, the question today was not if they would score but how many.
Melee started steadily keeping a lot of possession - but without scoring, until man of the match Alex Couper took over and put a couple of sweet goals in the net. Two of the goals from just in front of the halfway line on the very right of the pitch - just drilling the ball across the goalie into the bottom left. WW got a couple of goals in the first half including a fortunate own goal from Porter and at half time Melee were cruising 6-2.
There were a number of changes at half time with a refereeing substition and Sam coming out of goal to see what damage he could produce. The second half was a shower of goals - with flowing passing up and down the field - WW did not know how to cope. David at the back was playing some sweet through balls which Sam and Alex dispatched with aplomb, Ports and David grabbing 4 and 5 goals with Melee walking most goals in as the WW fitness was telling.
Sam bagged 4 goals - all finished very well, but the real story of the night was the fact that everyone lost count of the goals Alex scored - from distance or close up he was burying the opposition. The referee said the final score was 16-5 but he had a shocker and lost count of goals, and a count up after the game by this reporter said that melee scored probably just over 20.
Man of the Match: Without a shadow of a doubt Alex Couper - getting 8 or 10 goals and bossing the game - in potentially his penultimate game of the season, showed true class and has led many to ask "what happened while he was in Iceland?"
Shocker of the Match: Justyns new no-swearing in football games is going great - he did not utter a swear word in the 30 minutes, however he did manage to nearly get into a fight in a match that would have been more violent against an armish team. This man could start a fight in solitary confignment....
Melee v Lazy Boys 15th August
Melee extended their current winning streak to 4 games last night with an encouraging victory over 4th placed Lazy Boys.
Melee were forced to make last minute changes to a team ravaged by unavailabilty.
Samuel, voted the
Fudge Player of the Season last year, joined a long list of players who were unable to attend last nights fierce encounter in Welwyn Garden City.
Justyn, who was thought to still be out with an injury, was brought along to bolster up a squad still realing from the loss of
Tafey who moved to Harpenden Town in the close season.
Due to
Wilko's late arrival, Melee started with the unfamiliar lineup of
Porter in goal. It is unclear to this reporter which team scored first, but it was soon 1-1. Some brilliant indiviudal skill from the younger
Couper brother, set up his sibling for a pile driver into the top corner. Upon
Wilko's replacement of
Porter in goal,
Andy set up two quickfire goals for
Alex, followed by one for himself.
The half time score of 5-1 looked to leave melee well in control of the game.
Kev and Drewin's sister/girlfriend/cousin/friend looked like they were enjoying the game, despite the wet conditions.
Lazy boys began the second half with 2 quick goals, and melee looked shaky. Some aggressive play by
Justyn's opposite number (aka '
Rubbish') led to a squareing up between the two. The referee controlled the confrontation well, despite being huddled by a flock of lazy boys.
Another lazy boy goal went in, this time an own goal by
singlehurst, and it was 5-3. From the kick off
Porter took the slump into his own hands, dribbling past 2 before slotting the ball calmly into the bottom right hand corner.
Minutes later and he was back at it again, this time a curling beauty into the apex.
Daudi was controlling things from the back, and melee began to gain defensive composure for the first time since the break. However, one mix up between
Drewin and
Couper led to a 3 on 2 situation which lazy boys capitalised upon.
Justyn and '
Rubbish' were at it again, this time
Rubbish landed an elbow onto
Justyn's forehead. He was quickly subbed off before the referee had an opportunity to open his eyes to see what was going on.
After some hard work in the corner, the lazy boy keeper spilled a shot from
Alex. From the resulting follow-up, the keeper grabbed both of
Couper's legs forcing a penalty. The keeper claimed that
Alex had gone in hard, but from where this reporter was watching, it seemed fair. After a few too many dummies,
Couper hit the penalty straight at the keeper.
Lazy boys got another one back through a genius henry-style back heel from a free kick.
With seconds left on the clock, and both sides looking tired, melee won a free kick after
Alex was kicked to the floor in the corner. The 'keeper then threw the ball at
Couper, and while there was a gentlemen's handshake being offered by
Couper to the keeper, Melee took a quick free-kick to seal a 10-7 victory and take them to the top of the table after 6 games.
They face a trip to second from bottom Real Ale Madrid next week with
Samuel back but 2 more confirmed absentees in the form of the
Couper brothers.
Man of the Match: Has to go to
Andy Porter, for his 6 goals, many of which came at crucial points in the game.
Moment of the Match: The last goal, where justice was served by the keeper not having a hope of saving the free-kick, after he should have been sent off.
Melee vs Otodynamics - Wednesday 9th August
Melee have done the unexpected and already claimed top spot in the 5-a-side league with a convincing win over otodynamics.
The new look team consisting of Frenchy, The Couper brothers, Sam and an import from the Italian Conference were in confident mood and from the beginning of the match dominated possesion. The first goal went against the run of play, a tidy finish from one of the smaller otadynamic players - weighing in at a mere 15 stone.
This shock the team into a drastic response, and the Italian genius scored 2 blase goals to give Melee a lead that they would not give up again. with some solid defending and good play the half time score of 5-1 left otodynamics in total disarray. A certain swagger returned to the team with the arrival of Alex Couper - but it was a well deserved swagger as Alex put in a man of the match performance. After having a few early tussles with one of the opposition defenders, a talking to from the referee and a brief spell on the floor (after being pushed down), Alex performed as an untouchable - hassling players all over the park and he also scored a brace!
The second half was much the same as the first - with David and the Italian guy both scoring their hatricks in style. The Italian guy beat 2 players and calmly chipped a diving goalie. After two driven goals David completed his hatrick with a half volley under the goal keeper.
The team worked well - with Frenchy doing a lot of the engine work and being persistant in breaking up attacks and passing killer balls through the opposition.
Final Score: 9-3
Man of the Match: Alex Couper
moment of the match: There were actually 2, the first being the half time talk of the opposition that included comments like "How are we being beaten, we normally beat everyone in this league" and "We cannot get away from them - we have no time on the ball". Sometimes the best complements come from the opposition.
The second was Italian guys chip over the goalie - class.
Melee vs Welwyn - July 25th
Melee started the game with 2 games deficet having not even taken the field in this league yet. Rumour has it that this is due to some confusion of Peter Gouldings emminent transfer from Melee to the Montana Munchies and 3rd party registration.
It was an emotional occasion as Goulding would be playing his last match with Melee for a while.
The opposition was Welwyn Wanderers - just above Melee in the table. As they took to the field the opposition with their lanky striker looked like they might give melee a stern test.
However this myth was dispelled within about 5 minutes as Melee went 5 goals up without response. A cracker from Couper from within his own half, followed by a plethera of goals from Goulding, Tafe and Justyn. Once Melee felt like they were comfortable their marking got slack and Welwyn punished them with a few goals being pulled back. However some nice flowing football that stripped through the opposition and left Melee with an 8-5 advantage at half time redeemed any niggling doubts.
The second half saw Melee go up a gear - with even the goalie - sam coming out and waltzing through a couple of players and then blasting a left footed shot past the goalie.
I feel like I would be doing sports journalists everywhere a discredit if I did not bring the poor refereeing to light. He could not add up the goals scored (he claimed Melee had but 14 goals when TV replays showed at least 16) and his inconsistancy meant both teams were left bewildered by his decisions!
At the end of the night though, Goulding had scored 6 goals and Tafe had been enjoying punishing some rookie defending for the now distraught Welwyn side, and even Justyn was getting heavily involved with a lot of great defending and a hat trick to boot.
Because of other results Melee are now only 3 points behind the leaders despite a 2 game disadvantage. Can Melee come back and win the league?
Stay tuned folks.
Gossip Column
According to the Montana Tribune, Peter has alterior motives for moving back to the US - and it is not to further his football carrier - could a japanese/dutch/canadian young lady be the reason - Peter refused to comment.
After Justyn's hat trick performance yesterday night it has been confirmed, Hell has frozen over.
David's knee injury was not as serious as first thought although he will not be in any training sessions for this week.
Andrew Porter is silently relieved that Goulding is moving otherwise he would have been on the bench for who knows how long. Andrew said "there is no animosity - it is just nice not to have the competition for my place"
Match report 4th July 2007
Melee vs The Hurracaines
The third big game in a row for Melee and on this dreary day the team actually turned up on time. Melee were determined to start strong and apart from an early shot by Hurracaine's striker, got off to a flying start. Mixing up the short and long passes they were tearing through their opponents defence. Midfielders Tafe and Goulding were linking well with Samuel and opened up a few chances. The first oppotunity was finished calmly by Tafe and second and third goals were pounched on by Goulding and Couper. The golden boot was looking further out of reach for Samuel, but with the holes in the Hurracaines defense getting larger any number of goals could be scored.
The second half started off in similar fashion with Melee domination and Hurracaines heads going down. Slick one touch passes and great man marking meant that Melee's opposition hardly had the ball. A gorgeous through ball from Webb, who had joined the strike force for the second half, was taken and finished by Goulding for a four goal lead.
Dramatic events marred the second half when Webb, who was recovering from a knee injury, went down and stayed down. Fans looked appauled as Hurry's kept on playing with the injured player still on the pitch. Webb was stretchered off and Melee brought on USA keeper Stacey Ropp. The squad was rearranged again as Samuel came out of goal to go back up front. Soon after, the striker stroked a shot pass keeper to put the golden boot back into contantion.
One of the goals of the season was the highlight of the second half. A ball drifted out to centre-back Couper who let loose with a screaming drive. The ball swerved out of reach of Hurry's keeper into the top left corner of the goal. The stadium fell silent in disbelief of what had just happened until the replay was shown of the big screen.
6 - 1 was the final score in the match, with Hurricaines scoring a nothing goal.
Special thanks was given to Ropp by the Melee manager for his contribution to the game. The sub keeper made two fine saves in the later stages of the game.
Man of the Match: David Couper
Team Line Ups:
MeleeWebb, Couper, Singlehurst, Tafe, Goulding, Samuel. Sub Ropp (19)
Goals: Couper 2, Goulding 2, Tafe 1, Samuel 1
The HurricainesDon't know, wouldn't have made a difference if they were five year old kids
Speculation:
- With Melee's title win secured the club are abandoning their last match against School Girls Rock. The 3 points and 3 goals that School girls will recieve from the non-game could keep them in the Premiership. The relegation battle is estimated to be worth about ₤23 million with TV sponsorship
- Kevin Webb will be out due to the knee injury picked up against The Hurricaines. Team physios have been working on the knee but have said surgery may be the only option.
- Players player of the season will be voted on this week
- Lead goal scorer Peter Goulding is reported to have signed a contract with an MLS team. It is rumoured that the player will see out his career and retire in the states in a move to boost the MLS standard and profile.
- Justyn Singlehurst was wowed by Couper's wonder goal on Wednesday and was heard suggeesting that the defender should be playing up front next season
- In a tribute to Melee, the official sponsors of the Premiership, pitch-invasion.com, have named the title trphy, "The Melee Cup"
Golden boot award
Goulding 10
Samuel 8
Tafe 3
Porter 3
Couper 2
Webb 1
Singlehurst 0
Tom Hill Poll
Who does Tom Hill look more like?
Couldnt find a great picture of Tom so youll have to imagine Tom's face when he is not holding a two litre beer.
Option number A
Bruno Berner - Swiss born Blackburn football player
Option number B
Jean Claude van Damme - Belgium born movie star and general player
You can imagine what Tom will vote for, but this is up to you.
Vote away
Look-a-Look
This is one Al will appriciate, Benitez compared will David Brent no surely not!
http://gunnerblog.com/?p=670
Match report 27th June 2007
Melee vs Harlow FC
Another first place vs second place battle saw Melee playing rivals Harlow FC, who had followed them up from the Championship the previous year.
With another early start due to European television rights Melee struggled to field a team and almost had to forfeit the game. Fans breathed a sigh of relief as half the squad turned up just in time to kick off.
Melee looked tense at the start of the game and were not flowing as they have in previous matches. Keeper Kevin Webb was tested with a few negligible shots before Melee found the net. Foreign import Samuel Amorim received the ball on the right side of the box and calmly brushed a left footed shot past Harlow keeper, off the post and into the net. One nil.
The second half saw subs disrupting Melee’s fluidity slightly and Webb was given some harder challenges to deal with. A Harlow striker found himself in plenty of space, directly in front of goal, twice in the space of five minutes. However, the mind games of Webb forced the nervous attacker to place the ball into the arms of the Melee goalie. Harlow drew a freekick out of Melee, which was taken quickly and surprised all, apart from a Harlow forward who slotted the ball into the corner of the goal. At the other end of the pitch Samuel and Goulding were starting to link well. Samuel found himself on the touchline and managed to drive a cross into the box where Goulding headed past the Harlow keeper. The pair connected again for the third goal as Goulding played a ball across the face of goal for a Samuel tap in. Fans looked both shocked and delighted that the Brazilian had finished from three yards out. Harlow did not look too shaken by the three one defeat apart from one player who had taken hits to the face and the nuts during the game. It was speculated after the match that the red stripes of blood running down his shirt were a deliberate sign to the Harlow manager that the player wanted to move to Melee.
Man of the Match: Kevin Webb, for some great saves and a superb volley towards the end of the match
Team line Ups:
Melee
Webb, Singlehurst, Tafe, Porter, Couper, Goulding, Samuel
Goals: Samuel 2, Goulding 1
Harlow FC
Keeper, Little skinny guy, Little skinny guy clone, Fat Bloodie guy, Two randoms
Goals: Fat Bloodie guy
Speculation
- Pharmaceutical company Sigma-Aldridge announced their delight in the success of the drug treatment that allowed Samuel to net a tap in. A spokesman for the company stated “Previous trials on Kieran Richardson and Jermaine Jenas were not successful so we are very happy that this new solution has worked so well”
- Melee are already talking about fielding a reserve team for the last match of the season against School Girls Rock FC. A win for The Girls could save them relegation.
- David Couper has been linked with a €12.3 million move to Barcelona. The player stated “I’m Melee through and through, I couldn’t leave the club even if I wanted to.”
- Melee players will don a black arm band in their game against The Hurracaines in remembrance of Arthur Francis. The avid fan had a heart attack due to the surprise of his favourite player, Peter Goulding, scoring a header.
- Justin Singlehurst is rumoured to have been invited to be a part of next year’s ‘I’m a celebrity get me out of here.’
Golden boot award
Goulding 8
Samuel 7
Porter 3
Tafe 2
Webb 1
Singlehurst 0
Couper 0
Title winning loosers
Giles Grimandi looks like he could be named Arsenal's Director of football, I dunno what is going on there. I just his management is better than his tackling. Anyway I was having this discussion with Dave and Al about who the worst player to ever win a Premeirship title is. My opinion is that you cant get a lot worse than
Giles who won 2 doubles?????
Any thoughts
Earlier this week, I had the opportunity to catch up with one of Melee's all-time greats, Pete Goulding. If you are unaware of the legend that is Pete, he has been topscorer in every full season that he has played for melee, except one. Being one of the first players to be signed by the Harpenden-based club back in 2001, his 6 years of commitment thus far have been filled with goals and medals.
